When I think about leadership, I don’t think about titles or authority. I think about impact. True leadership is about growth—both in yourself and in the people around you. There’s real power in learning to recognize who truly has leadership skills.

When I was younger, I would ask just about anyone for advice. I’d follow their guidance—and often, I made the problem worse. Later, when I went back to the person who gave me advice, their response would be a simple shrug: “That’s what I would have done.” No reflection. No guidance. Just a shrug. Sometimes the advice itself wasn’t thoughtful or helpful. They could have said, “I don’t know the answer.” That honesty would have been far more valuable.

That experience taught me the importance of thinking critically about who to trust. I began to look for patterns, not just words. Who listens actively? Who challenges thoughtfully? Who takes accountability when things go wrong? Leadership is revealed in action, not in titles or speeches. These moments taught me who not to ask—and who I could trust.

A good leader empathizes through their actions, especially under pressure. They don’t just give opinions—they understand where others are coming from and help guide them toward solutions. They demonstrate the temperament, patience, and judgment that inspire confidence. These behaviors tell you far more about a person than their words ever could.

Leadership is also about provoking growth. A leader challenges people to think differently, step outside what feels safe, and believe in progress. That doesn’t mean pushing change recklessly—it means guiding with intention and purpose.

Authority is part of leadership and requires balance. Imposing a decision shifts responsibility onto the leader, and a true leader takes accountability rather than hiding behind power. True leaders provide structure and direction without relying on power to control or intimidate. When authority is exercised responsibly, it builds trust. When it’s abused, it creates fear—and fear never leads to meaningful growth.

Leadership and coaching are deeply connected. A coach exists to support growth, not to encourage stagnation. Growth can be uncomfortable, even messy—but it’s necessary. Leaders who act as coaches create space for learning, reflection, and self-discovery.

I’ve also learned that leaders don’t always need to have the answers. Some of the most impactful leaders I’ve met didn’t solve problems for me—they helped me find the answers myself. Through thoughtful questions, reflection, and support, they allowed insight to emerge intuitively, helping me make my own decisions. That kind of leadership builds confidence, independence, and long-term growth.

Ultimately, leadership isn’t about standing in front of others—it’s about walking alongside them. It’s about influence without force, guidance without domination, and growth without fear. That is the kind of leader I strive to be.